It’s been a rough week. Germs seems to like me, so whenever someone coughs within a 1km radius of where I am standing, inevitably they seek me out, like a heat seeking missile, attach themselves to me, like velcro, and infect me, like infections. I was lucky enough to have bronchitis and tonsilitis at the same time this week, which believe me, is way more fun than you’d think it could ever be.
So I’ve spent the last 3 days straight in bed, in my apartment, with next to no contact from the outside world, except for the lovely man from the Nepalese Take Away place who feeds me once a week, that delivered my food on Wednesday night and who ran away quickly when I began coughing uncontrollably and he caught a glimpse of my doona and tissue filled apartment. I watched a lot of Seinfeld (I mean a lot. I now know pretty much all of the last season word perfect and I think I may even have begun to look a little like George Costanza). I ate a lot of cornflakes (they’re the only thing that didn’t make me want to throw up for the first 2 days of my convalescence). I drank many fluids (mostly water and flat lemonade). I didn’t do my hair, get dressed or wear shoes (I looked like a hobit by Thursday evening).
And now I am out in the world again, albeit slightly coughy and very tired but I am vertical and non-dizzy. I made my way here to the internet cafe without dying and I felt an immediate sense of popularity when I saw how many emails I had missed. So whilst I have most definitely not been involved in the world as of the last 3 days, several things did happen of which I will now give you a comprehensively short run down.
1) I am now a working volunteer at Sticky Institute. I had my first shift on Monday, then went down like a huge sack of potatoes monday evening, thus eliminating Sticky from my life for the rest of the week, but I will return there next week. Come in, say hi! Meet me, worship me, kiss my converse clad feet.
2) I have a zine stall at TINA in Newcastle. This means I sit there and sell my zines all day. It also means I didn’t book accomodation in time and will therefore be staying in a 4 person mixed room at a youth hostel just off the beach. I am not wealthy and cannot therefore afford the five star option of the hotel on the beach with my own personal massuese. Hence, I will sleep with 3 other strangers who I know nothing about and who are likely to kill me in my sleep and I will wake up and realise that I’m dead.
3) My feet have shrunk. I’ve gone from a size 9 to a size 8. How? HOW????
4) I had Lord Of The Fries for the first time on Monday. Oh lord. I have seen the light and am now a believer.
5) You get looked at wierdly if you are pale, coughing and bedraggled on a tuesday evening at 9pm when you are at coles and you buy a bag of frozen potatoe wedges, a 24 pack of panadol and a box of 3ply tissues. Never do this unless you can absolutely avoid it. People think you’re a psychopath.
6) Never live alone if you are very very ill. It sucks. No one is there to clean up your vomit. No one is there to complain to. No one will find you for days if you die on your doona. If you live alone, get housemates immediately to prevent this from occurring.
Now, I’m going to go see if the lines at Centrelink have gotten any shorter in the last 3 days.
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